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Dexter - "Second Thoughts"

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Oct. 2nd, 2006 | 05:06 pm
location: Flagstaff, AZ
mood: apatheticapathetic
music: Dirst - Decontrol

Title: Second Thoughts
Author: Britani Gael
Fandom: Dexter
Words: 849
Rating: R
Summary: Dexter has a dilemma.
Author’s Note: Have seen only the first episode. However, I have seen it twice. I am not a fan of blood and gore, and the show disturbed me a lot – and yet, I could not help writing this. Somewhat stream of consciousness, rated R for a reason, but if the show doesn’t bother you then you should be able to stomach this.

* * *

He had to think.

I didn’t do it you have to believe me it wasn’t me I swear I don’t know what you’re talking about

A confession was part of the game Dexter always won, his own insight going up against that of the killers – but the guilt worming through their hearts and brains and eating their own thoughts alive day after day after week after month, it always took his side in the end. They always told him, the words bubbling out from between their lips before the blood started flowing in exactly the same way.

They told him because they wanted to, before they died.

Please stop oh my God stop I don’t know what you’re saying why are you doing this

It was inconceivable. He’d already made one cut – more than one, because he’d gotten the blood from the face and put it on the slide which was in his pocket, and then he’d very carefully separated half of the right leg from the rest of the body, and blood was pooling on the plastic and between the layers of Saran wrap.

It always bothered him, because it was his trophy and yet so much of it ended up on the ground, smothered in plastic, soaking into the dirt in various landfills across the city and outside of it, too.

I swear I swear I don’t know who that woman is I never saw her Hail Mary full of Grace

He had no right to complain; he got to spend all day everyday around blood. He measured and looked and prodded, he got so close he could smell it and he could smell it so well he could imagine he was tasting it.

Smell and taste were closely related senses, after all.

He had to think.

Why had this man not confessed to his crimes?

So Dexter put the gauze back into the man’s mouth and noticed the tears streaming down his face, and that part wasn’t usual, because seven out of ten of his victims had spent most of their last hours of life crying. But this man hadn’t told him that’d he’d done it, he hadn’t tried to explain their sins away, hadn’t said that he just couldn’t help himself. Dexter never approved of that excuse, because he couldn’t help himself either, and that didn’t excuse his compulsion, not to them.

He stepped back from the table and stripped both gloves off, put them in a garbage bag. He rubbed his temples and his mouth and he thought, even though the muffled shrieks and pleadings were trying to distract him.

He thought.

He had before him a serial rapist – one of his least favorite types of killers – tied down and wrapped up and not confessing, despite the evidence.

Bloody clothes in his house, suspicious reading materials. The autopsy photographs clearly proved that a man of his height and build had taken down each of those tiny, pretty girls – he lived alone, and not just in a technical, literal sense. He lived completely alone, he had no friends, no women, few professional contacts, and his only frequent visitor was his brother—

Of course. Why hadn’t Dexter thought of that?

This man had been set up by his own brother.

Dexter chuckled to himself, shaking his head. Of course. Same height, same build, constant access to this man’s house and tools, and likely he shared his antisocial tendencies. Except the brother had taken it a step further – to murder.

So close, but he’d taken a nasty wrong step, made an arrogant assumption. He’d pay for that mistake, too, because each of these murders took careful planning, he had to set up each move like a grandmaster at a chess board. Location, props, plan of attack, the set-up he loved so very much. He’d picked the wrong victim, and now he had to start over.

At least he knew now which victim was the right one.

It’d only set him back a week.

He pulled a fresh pair of medical gloves out of the box, pulled them on and snapped them on his wrists. He liked doing that, it made him feel like a professional. The game was over now, so he selected a different knife, a larger one.

He usually saved this part for last.

He pulled the gag out of the man’s mouth.

“What are you doing?” the man yelled. “What the hell are you doing?”

Dexter ignored him, he wasn’t used to being talked to while he worked and therefore didn’t like it very much. He smoothed his latex coated fingers across the man’s throat.

“What are—“

He was working out of order, but he knew he had no choice, and he used the whole of his strength to bring the knife down across his throat.

It was a very neat beheading.



On the way home he stopped at a gas station. He didn’t fill up his tank; he smashed the slide into pieces with the bottom of his shoe and threw the pieces away.

He still wasn’t sorry.

* * *

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Comments {7}

Mandi

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from: vampkiss
date: Oct. 8th, 2006 05:09 am (UTC)
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Caught the first show the other day. *loves*

Great ficlet. Fits in perfectly with the way Dexter would think. :)

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Britani Gael

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from: notquiteclever
date: Oct. 18th, 2006 11:36 pm (UTC)
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Dexter seems to introspective on the show, always thinking about what he's doing -- so I was trying to write him like that, but wasn't sure if I'd gotten it. Thanks for the feedback!

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from: sphinktor
date: Oct. 18th, 2006 08:24 pm (UTC)
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That's really good. I usually dislike fanfiction because their authors tend to stray away from the character's actual personality so it just doesn't feel right reading some. However, you hit his personality dead on, so thaaank you very much for doing that. :D

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Britani Gael

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from: notquiteclever
date: Oct. 18th, 2006 11:38 pm (UTC)
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Thanks! Out of character fanfiction feels wrong for me, too, even in parody stories, I don't get the point. I was afraid I'd screwed up his character, so I'm glad to see you liked it. ^^

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(no subject)

from: sphinktor
date: Oct. 18th, 2006 11:54 pm (UTC)
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Hehe, at first, when I read the title, I thought it was going to be about Dexter falling in love or something, so I was thinking, "Oh god no. What have you done. -_-" Then I read your note on your story, so then I was intrigued at what you wrote about, because I wondered who the hell would be able to write this kind of stuff. XD (Cause you know, Dexter's storyline isn't really something anyone would just come up with.)

But hey, looking forward to reading more stories. :) I have an unhealthy addiction to this show. T_T

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vaeltaa

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from: vaeltaa
date: Oct. 30th, 2006 08:41 pm (UTC)
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That was really good! I only wished it was longer. :p But I loved it, alot. *saves to memories*

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Britani Gael

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from: notquiteclever
date: Nov. 7th, 2006 05:42 pm (UTC)
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Thank you!

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